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Understanding Google My Business & Local Search

Rebranding your business for fun and profit in Maps

After mucking around in the bowels of local search marketing for laywers in LA, I had an interesting interchange with Miriam Ellis of SEOigloo. 

Me: But what client in their right mind would choose a lawyer based on the search “LA Dog Bite Attorney”? It seems to cater to the underclasses.

Miriam: Somehow, it reminds me of those eBay adwords plugs “Buy New & Used Dog At EBay”. The artifice of crummy and weird SEO at work.

Her comment struck a chord for me and led me through a whole mind experiment (over the next 3 minutes) wondering just how far “weird SEO” might go…

And where else to look? Los Angeles of course.

My (somewhat twisted) cogs started turning out possible search phrases. Cut Rate Surgery? No too cliche. Breast Enlargement? Hmm I was getting warm  there. My search soon proved fruitful. On just my third try I hit pay dirt as it were: Beverly Hills Breast Augmentation:
Search Optimization Breast Augmentation

So I asked myself the obvious question: What business in their right mind would rebrand themselves Breast Augmentation? Well never underestimate the possibilities when you combine the thought process of someone from LA with the power of Google.

Apparently a lot of businesses would:

Map Search: Beverly Hills Breast Augmentation:

Businesses named breast augmentation

Heck there were at least two pages of them in Maps and a number of the listings even had coupons:

8500 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 1020, Beverly Hills, CA  
(310) 360-0504

I haven’t had time to look for spam yet. But a cursory glance indicated that it was at least as prevalent as in the legal industry. One just has to wonder: Just what is in the water in LA?

I am now officially accepting submissions for the most outrageous Local OneBox “rebranding”. Send them along and I will publish a gallery of the most inventive.

Contest notes. The following mapspam er…rebranding efforts are not eligible for the “best of the rebranding” gallery:

 

A
8500 Wilshire Blvd # 1020, Beverly Hills, CA
(310) 360-0504‎ - 1 review - 0.1 mi NE    

Coupons »

B
8500 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 1020, Beverly Hills, CA
(310) 360-0504‎ - 1 review - 0.1 mi N    

Coupons »

C
Teeth Whitening‎ - more info »    

8500 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 1020, Beverly Hills, CA
(310) 360-0504‎ - 0.1 mi N    

Coupons »

D
Breast Implants‎ - more info »    

8500 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 1020, Beverly Hills, CA
(310) 360-0504‎ - 0.1 mi N    

Coupons »

E
8500 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 1020, Beverly Hills, CA
(310) 360-0504‎ - 0.1 mi N    

Coupons »

F
Rhinoplasty‎ - more info »    

8500 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 1020, Beverly Hills, CA
(310) 360-6246‎ - 0.1 mi N    

Coupons »