Introducing the Hot New Social Network, PhoneBook

Allows User to Call Friends, Speak to Them

SILICON VALLEY (The Borowitz Report) – A new social network is about to alter the playing field of the social media world, and it’s called PhoneBook.

According to its creators, who invented the network in their dorm room at Berkeley, PhoneBook is the game-changer that will leave Facebook, Twitter and even the much anticipated Google Buzz in a cloud of dust.

“With PhoneBook, you have a book that has a list of all your friends in the city, plus everyone else who lives there,” says Danny Fruber, one of PhoneBook’s creators.

“When you want to chat with a friend, you look them up in PhoneBook, and find their unique PhoneBook number,” Fruber explains.  “Then you enter that number into your phone and it connects you directly to them.”

Another breakout utility of PhoneBook allows the user to arrange face-to-face meetings with his or her friends at restaurants, bars, and other “places,” as Fruber calls them.

“You will be sitting right across from your friend and seeing them in 3-D,” he said.  “It’s like Skype, only without the headset.”

PhoneBook will enable friends to play many games as well, such as charades, cards, and a game Fruber believes will be a breakout: Farm.

“In Farm, you have an actual farm where you raise real crops and livestock,” he says.  “It’s hard work, but it’s more fun than Mafia, where you actually get killed.”

This article is reprinted with permission of Andy Borowitz. For real-time fake news updates, follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter. You may subscribe to his daily Borowitz Report here.

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10 thoughts on “Introducing the Hot New Social Network, PhoneBook”

  1. I visited – after coming up with such an awesome new site, they should’ve put some more effort into the design.

  2. I wonder if it will have a tie-in to the popular programs “WallCalendar” and “DeskCalendar” on which you can keep track of birthdays of friends you are connected to via PhoneBook?

  3. @Mike

    So… users have to stick their fingers in their noses to get to their brains? I’m not sure how well this is going to go over.

    Or … maybe that’s not the kind of interface you were referring to.


  4. @Miriam


    What you are describing is a digital-cranial interface, the opposite of what I was proposing. In my interface design, the information flows in the other direction for the output of alpha characters. Your concept on the other hand produces an illegible effluent. I don’t think it will work in that direction.

  5. I knew my logic was somehow flawed, thanks for setting me straight.

    Then again, I’ve had a day where several people tried to make appointments with me for “either later today … or Tuesday afternoon.” I can’t tell you how many times I looked at my Calendar to see what day it was, and wonder if they were in another time zone.

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